So today I decided to find out which nutrients I need to stay healthy, and exactly how much of each I should be getting. I mean, I know by now that there are doubtless scads of unlisted (and unsuspected) nutrients I should be getting (or would be, if I ate a halfway natural diet)—but I’ve got to start somewhere, right? Besides, I’m a professional researcher. How hard can this be?

Well, it’s said that the scariest words in the English language are these: “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.” After delving into this subject, I think it safe to say that the above aphorism works just as well (if not better) when the word “scariest” is replaced with “most confusing.”

I start with the DV or Daily Values, for the simple and I feel quite rational reason that the way I’m going to track my daily nutrient intake is by checking the labels on everything I eat—and those labels state nutrient content as a percentage of DV. (The unlabeled foods I’ll have to look up, and I’m guessing there will be more of these over time.)

Since the FDA’s in charge of all this, my first stop is an FDA page entitled How to Understand and Use the Nutrition Facts Label. I’m guessing someone in the Obfuscation Department slipped up, because this page actually does a pretty bang-up job of explaining how to read those little nutrition information tables found on most foods. I am pleasantly surprised.

I do, however, have a few issues. One of these is that the DV on all food labels is based on a 2,000 calorie diet, which means all of the figures are going to be off—sometimes way off—for a whole lot of people. Like, for instance, me.

Punching my stats into the (very hard to find) Interactive DRI For Healthcare Professionals calculator tells me I require 3,325 calories a day, presumably to stay where I am now. Which means that handy-dandy food label DV % is, for me, off on the low side by almost 70%. Not good.

What, you may ask, is a DRI? It’s what the DV is based on, of course, along with the RDI. And this is where the government people come into their own. The DV is based on the RDI or the RDA, and the RDI (if I’m following this; it ain’t easy) includes the EAR, the RDA, the AI, and the UL. There’s also a SONA.

Confused much? Not to worry; many argue (fairly convincingly) that it’s all fairly useless—or, at best, inadequate—anyway. So I may not have to learn all this.

More to come in Nutrition Mission: Part 02. And note, if you would, my foresighted use of “02″ instead of “2″—just in case this nutritional decryption effort should run to 10 or more parts.

I hope it won’t—but as there’s heavy government involvement in this area, there’s no way to know…